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Looking at the psychology of impotence is a little like taking a trip down the Amazon during the wet season. It's a subject fraught with hidden currents, treacherous shallows and wide meanderings.
There is no doubt that Viagra, the little blue pill that revolutionized the treatment of impotence has had a profound effect on men who have erectile dysfunction. But simply finding a "quick fix" for impotence doesn't overcome other problems that may have been there before treatment began.
Overcoming impotence often gives men unrealistic expectations about their ability to immediately cure their emotional problems as well as their physical ones.
The Psychology of Impotence
Sadly it seems that for a large number of men, their ability to get an erection and have sex is viewed as an integral part of their masculinity and potency. So it's no wonder that the onset of impotence, even when triggered by an underlying physical condition, can produce psychological problems that further impact on the impotence.
Performance anxiety is a very real issue for most men at one time or another. The fear of not being able to perform adequately, dissatisfaction with penis size, and self-consciousness about body appearance can all lead to the very thing that most men wish to avoid - failure to get an erection.
So, when this anxiety is coupled with the knowledge there may have been an occasional episode of impotence in the past, or when erectile dysfunction has been in existence for a period of time, this anxiety is multiplied. From a strictly physiological viewpoint, anxiety can effectively prevent a man from becoming aroused and getting and maintaining an erection.
And performance anxiety isn't the only issue men have to contend with. The highest risk category for the onset of impotence is the so-called "baby-boomers" - men born in the period from 1946 to 1964. Most of these men are in their peak performance years in terms of their job, status, family and financial success. And all these factors lead to an increase in stress levels and anxiety - one more reason for impotence to occur.
Taking a pill may temporarily overcome the impotence, but relieving the self-doubt and mental stress, which may have been brooding for any number of years, is harder to alleviate. The ability to regain quality of life by restoring sexual function is viewed by some men as a near miracle and by others with fear and trepidation.
It's important to honestly assess how you feel now and compare it to how you felt before the impotence treatment began. Easier said than done, but unless the negative feelings tied to the impotence can be viewed objectively, it's akin to the stories people who have gained a great deal of weight often say "I feel like a thin person trapped in a fat person's body". For men it's "I feel like an impotent man trapped in a body that now has full sexual function."
The psychology of impotence is about viewing your new life - with sexual function - as a new beginning, complete with all the new emotions that may be experienced. There's no point in trying to "recapture" your life the way it was prior to impotence, regardless of whether that was only months ago or many years ago. Time moves on, and trying to live out life the way it used to be is a sure-fire bet for failure.
The Psychology of Impotence in a Relationship
Finding an effective treatment to restore erectile function is not a guarantee that you will find an effective treatment for a relationship in need of psychological, physical or emotional repair. And in most situations it's not a "cure" for intimacy, romance or monogamy.
The restoration of erectile function can quickly and unexpectedly alter the dynamics of a relationship, particularly when impotence has been a long-term problem. A profound, and often immediate, change in male sexual function is no small matter, and cannot be dealt with in the time it takes to swallow a little pill.
We live in an age of "quick fixes", and while it's true that impotence medications can quickly help overcome physiological problems, it's the couple who must resolve their relationship issues. And that takes dedication, effort - and time.
The renewal of sexual function is viewed by a number of men as being given a "second chance". They don't take their restored function for granted and are usually willing and eager to explore their feelings and their relationship with renewed hope and vigor.
Sadly, that's not always the case. Many men who have dealt with impotence for a long period of time find that being able to resume intercourse is not the solution for a disintegrating relationship. New and unfamiliar pressures can be exerted on both partners and it's often a time when a couple need to seriously evaluate the health of their relationship.
Evaluating your relationship and your sex life in an honest and candid way can have an impact on both of you.
THE MEANING OF SEX IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
It's no secret that men and women react differently to sex - before, during and afterwards.
As part of the solid foundation between two people, it can bring intimacy, joy and trust to each partner. However, as the sole pillar in a faltering relationship, it can be the weak link. In between these two standards is an entire universe of emotions and experiences that are unique to each couple.
Think about your feelings regarding your relationship:
How happy are you with your partner?
How satisfied are you with your sex life?
How satisfied is your partner with your sex life?
Is your relationship based on friendship, mutual understanding and trust, family commitments, or sex?
How well do you both communicate your feelings about all aspects of your relationship?
Remember that a mutually satisfying sex life is an integral part of a healthy relationship. When the physical aspects of your relationship are on track, you create an experience that is greater than the two of you, and one that adds to your overall mental and physical contentment.
IDENTIFYING SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND ANXIETIES
Close examination of your sexual partnership with a view to solving any problems that exist is an extremely delicate matter. Being able to openly and candidly express the things that make you uncomfortable, cause embarrassment, or deny you pleasure requires a great deal of tact and diplomacy. Communicating your desires, the things that bring you pleasure and what it takes to bring you sexual fulfillment can be equally embarrassing to express.
Good communication is the key to a happy and healthy sexual relationship. Being able to speak frankly about what makes you happy and what doesn't requires courage and empathy - the ability to say how you feel and what you want without upsetting your partner or causing them to go on the defensive.
In many cases, couples who have experienced communication problems often seek the help of a mediator or sex therapist to help them clearly and objectively state their case. Having a third party present in such situations can help diffuse tension and ease any difficulties partners may have communicating their feelings to each other.
Some of the situations where sexual problems can arise include:
When one partner desires sex more frequently than the other.
When there is dissatisfaction or a lack of pleasure in your sex life.
When one partner feels they give more than they receive.
When there is guilt, fear or anxiety about sexual activity.
When your preferred sexual activities are at odds with each other.
The psychology of impotence is about sometimes stepping into uncharted waters. It requires confidence and the experience that comes with learning, understanding and embracing your own sexual desires and those of your partner.
We're not all mind readers, so communicating openly and honestly, and defining what satisfies you sexually is the first step. Listening to your partner in an equally honest and open manner is just as important. Empathy, patience, perseverance and compromise are the markers of a highly successful sexual relationship.
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1. Planning Renovations
Any project will be more successful, given well-defined goals. In every household project, the following three points can be applied:
FORM: What do you want it to look like?
FUNCTION: What do you want it to do for you?
COMPATIBILITY: What factors exist that might limit what you can do, and will the finished product look good on your house?
Once you've completed this part of your homework, it's time to decide if you'll built it yourself, hire a contractor, or be your own contractor and perhaps sub-contract some of the work. Sub-contracting may sometimes seem to over-complicate things and even look wasteful, but just remember - some jobs can look deceivingly simple until you actual get into the nitty-gritty of them. A general contractor's job is to co-ordinate and orchestrate the whole schmozzle to completion.
2. Finding A Contractor
My card...The process of finding a good contractor is essentially the same, whether you decide to hire a general contractor, or one or more sub-contractors. The best reference for a contractor is word of mouth from a satisfied client. If you don't know anyone who has had renovations or repairs done in the area you need, look for work trucks or signs in your neighborhood. Knock on doors, and ask the homeowners if they are satisfied with the work being done. Once you contact a contractor, ask for references, and follow through by calling their previous clients with a set of questions that will give you the information you are looking for.
The following are samples of questions that could be asked of any reference:
1. Did the job come in at the quoted price?
2. Did the job come in on time?
3. Was the work site left clean each day?
4. Was the quality of the workmanship satisfactory?
5. Was the quality of the materials used satisfactory?
It is always recommended that you talk to more than one company, so that you have a basis for comparison. Listen to their technical information, and note their customer relation skills. If the contractor doesn't do a very good job of communicating with you before you hire him or her, there may be a higher likelihood of miscommunications during the work.
Sometimes the best companies will be very busy and you will have to wait for their services. Other times, good companies may have time slots between large projects that smaller jobs can fit into. Ask what the company's schedule has been like for the past 6 months to a year. Reputable companies are usually busy all year round in any economic situation.
3. The Estimate, or Quote
Meeting the Contractors
Remember that the contractor you choose could be spending a lot of time in your home, so look for someone you feel at ease with. You should meet individually with each potential contractor. Be prepared to discuss products and designs; know what you want and how much you can spend. Take note if the contractors are on time, if they listen and answer questions, willingly give information about their company and their customers; and if they seem to have any aversion to your ideas.
The Estimate
This is where you'll likely make your choice of contractor. Each potential contractor will present a proposal, including design and cost information. Review the estimates, ensuring that they accurately relfect your wishes, and make comments and/or any changes that are required.
How Are Jobs Estimated?
Work that involves structural changes to the home, custom designs, or enlargement of some of the mechanical systems is typically quoted by the job. It can be very difficult for a contractor to know exactly how much time an intricate custom job will take, particulary if a number of trades are required, and the different parts of the job are interdependent.
Get it in writing!Simpler, straightforward jobs are often quoted by the square foot. Examples are laying sod, painting, roofing, drywall or refinishing floors. The quoted price will typically be set to include everything (ie. labour, materials, travel, etc.).
Smaller jobs may also be quoted buy the hour, and if the job is fairly routine, such as installing addtional electrical outlets or drywalling, the figures are typically in line. In this situation you will pay the tradesperson for time, plus the cost of the materials used in the project.
The Final Design and Quote
If you have a contractor with good references and the estimate looks good, you now need to get a firm quote, including final designs. The design should include detailed specifications for the work and the materials to be used.
(Another option is to have an architect or designer produce the plans and ask the contractors to bid on the job, based on these plans.)
Make sure the final specs are accurate and reflect your wishes, and make your final comments and changes. After you accept the final quote, the cost of further changes will likely be added to the job. Ask how long the stages of the work will take, so that you can monitor progress.
4. The Paperwork
Cash is King, however...
... take care, lest the cash deal of the century turn into the mistake of a lifetime! One reason for cash payment is the avoidance of paperwork and taxes. Taxes and other legalities aside, the absence of contracts and permits can be extremely risky.
Ooh, I love to save money!Cash contractors often don't pay Workers' Compensation fees, and you could be held legally responsible for any worker injured on your property. If the contractor gives you the product warranty cards, you'll be covered for defective materials provided they were properly installed, but don't expect good follow-up service on a cash deal. You would also have difficulty supporting any legal actions without any paperwork. The overall quality of a project may be compromised in the absence of paperwork, and cash paid in advance (rather than by cheque) will be all but impossible to retrieve if things go sour.
Building, plumbing and electrical codes may require that all or parts of your project be performed by licensed tradespeople, and sometimes licenses are required to obtain the permits. If the tradespeople aren't licensed, the contractor probably isn't insured. And if your contractor isn't insured, then depending on the nature of the job, neither is your house while he works on it.
The Contract
Agreements in writing are less vulnerable to miscommunications, than are verbal ones, and far easier to enforce. Some of the points included in a good contract are:
1. Full job description, including all aspects of the work; demolition, renovation, reconstruction and finishing.
2. Material specifications, including type, model, number, color, and size where applicable, and who's supplying what.
3. Start and finish dates.
4. Payment schedule; 40/40/20 is generally acceptable.
5. Permits, and who's responsible for obtaining them.
6. Clean-up and trash removal.
7. On site behaviour.
8. Change order clause: Have any changes to the original job specifications in writing with a requirement that you "sign off" any change before the work is performed.
9. Arbitration: Aree how disagreements will be handled before the work begins.
10. Contractor's insurer and policy number.
5. The Work MORE POWER!
Problem Avoidance: If you've carefully chosen your contractor, and made adequate preparations (including making the site ready for the trades people and workers), this part should be easy! The actual work should closely follow what was written into the contract, however you still need to monitor the ongoing project, and in some cases you'll be required to make additional decisions. There are often unforseen difficulties, or you may simply wish to ask for changes as the work proceeds.
Site Preparation: Remove furniture and stored articles from the work area, and cover carpets and other items that may not be moveable. It is in your own best interest to make arrangements for storage, clean-up and refuse areas convenient to the work area.
Project Coordination: Effective communication is the greatest secret to successfully completing any project. Maintain regular contact with your contractor(s) so that the unexpected can be dealt with expediently.
Hidden Conditions: A thorough inspection performed in conjuction with estimation should preclude any major changes, however there are structural and mechanical conditions initially hidden from view, which even the most experienced renovator may not be able to predict. Be prepared to negotiate changes for "hidden conditions".
What to do if a problem develops:
1. Bring all problems, perceived and real, to the attention of your contractor(s).
2. Is it major or minor? If minor, and the contractor is present at the time, discuss it and negotiate a resolution. If it's minor, and/or looks like it can wait, start a list of minor observations that you can bring to his or her attention when appropriate.
3. Major problems should be dealt with immediately. If your contractor is not present at the time, make every effort to contact him or her as soon as possible. This may avert furtherance of the problem.
4. Given that your contractor responds satisfactorily, carry on. If not, try again and if necessary, write a letter. If you still don't get satisfaction, look to a third party such as the Ontario Renovators Council or the Ontario Home Builders Association. These agencies should be approached only if you are certain that a resolution cannot be achieved with the contractor. Legal counsel should be an absolute last resort. There's no use making a mountain out of a molehill, and thereby delaying succesful completion of the project.
THE BOTTOM LINE: careful contractor selection + a good contract = successful job
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Natural breedings don't always occur. Timing is critical. Even when you think the time is right, the female may refuse to stand for the male or the male may not be interested in the female.
If nature proceeds normally, the female's vulva will enlarge and soften as the time nears to breed. She may begin to tease or "flag" the male that the time is right and the time is now or never....The male and female will engage in a period of play and foreplay. The male will attempt to mount the female within minutes of this foreplay. If the female is ready, she will whip her tail aside, presenting her rear to the male, and stand steady awaiting the male to penetrate her. This is an assertive invitation of the female toward the male to begin the mating process. Not all females, especially a first time female, will remain in a ready position once the male attempts to mount. She may slip out from under him and run in another direction. This oftentimes frustrates the male, but he will chase after her and try it again. For some matings, it may be necessary to assist. You might have to hold the female for the male to get his job done. More often than not, however, nature does take its course and the mating is done quite naturally. Some females never make a sound. Other females, especially a first time female, may scream a blood-curling scream, but do not be alarmed. This usually subsides and by the end of the procedure/mating period, she is laughing and holding her tongue out as if to say: "Well, that was not so bad after all. I just thought it might not be a good idea there in the beginning, and I thought Mommy might have to rescue me or something." If the female is violent and struggles or fights to get away from the male, the male can become injured. You might need to softly talk to your female and keep her calm so as not to pull and jerk the male into an injury. Females can also injure themselves if they decide to be "stubborn." The actual mating period can last as long as two weeks in the Shih Tzu. Mating should be attempted every two days to allow the male to recuperate.
You might try breeding small dogs on a large table covered with a nonslip surface. A stair riser can be used when the male is smaller and being mated to a larger female. Females can surprise you. They may be an absolute sweet pee otherwise until mating begins and then they can turn into a wild cat. You might need to muzzel the female to keep her from biting the male. And visa-versa, you might need to muzzel the male to keep him from biting the female to rebuke her resistance toward him. Muzzling the male and female or both can also prevent them from biting you during the assistance of a mating. When females become more experienced, the blood-curling screams diminish and she sometimes is even more flirtatious than the male, and engaging much more in a foreplay period with the male. I think she starts to enjoy the mating period more as she matures.
When the male mounts the female he will normally grab and hold her rear quarters, his forelegs wraped around her waist. He will balance himself on his hind legs and pull the female into him. Once the male enters the female his penis will engorge and create a "tie." The large and rigidly swollen "knob" of the penis keeps the coupling pair connected. The female's vaginal wall muscles automatically contract in response to the penile engorgement, thus they are "locked" together. A tie is not absolutely critical for conception, but it is nature's way of helping to ensure the female will become impregnated.
On the average, a "tie" will last from 10 to as long as 45 minutes. A brief tie could be indicative of an incomplete ejaculation of the male, but does not mean there will be no resulting puppies, nor does a longer tie insure a greater coneption rate. It is rare that the couple's tie will last longer than 45 minutes and would be a vet emergency. The male will determine the sex of your puppies. The female will determine how many puppies by the number of ova ripened to accept fertilization.
Artificial insemination is a practice now more common than before. As a result breeding to a "superstud," that would otherwsie be unaccessible because of geographic location or whatever is now possible. Artificial insemination is the introduction of sperm into a female's genital tract by instruments.
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Sleep consumes as much as one-third or more of the average human’s life. Even if people hope for restful sleep, many types of sleep disorder reduce the quality and quantity of sleep. Snoring is the most common cause of sleep disorder that affects people.
Snoring is divided into two categories: Obstructive sleep apnea and Primary snoring. Obstructive sleep apnea: Loud, excessive snoring, interrupted by breathing stoppages and gasping for breath. Other symptoms include excessive sleepiness in the daytime and obesity. Also, it was found that is more common in male.
Primary Snoring: is very common and is unrelated to apneic episodes. Primary snoring may be an early predictor for people who will eventually develop obstructive sleep apnea. This progression is more likely in people at ages 35-40 and who undergo a weight gain.
Primary snoring is characterized by loud noises that disturb the sleeper or sleep partners and can be caused by different types of problems: anatomic - if the oropharynx is smaller or more narrow than normal, a deviated nasal septum, hypertrophy of the tonsils and/or adenoids, temporary or permanent enlargement of the nasal turbinate (nasal obstruction), mandibular abnormalities, or tongue enlargement and smoking.
Medical consequences: The obstructive sleep apnea should always be checked by a physician. The fact that you won’t receive the proper amount of air will lead in time to serious diseases. Not enough air means poor blood and brain oxygenation. Even primary snoring can signal other morbid conditions. Nocturnal asthma may be a cause of snoring and snoring may be a trigger for nocturnal asthma. The day time tiredness and sleepiness is only a residual effect of snoring. Snoring often coexists with hypertension, heart disease, asthma and brain ischemia.
Smoking - Cigarette smoking has been demonstrated to be the cause of numerous medical problems, including snoring. The cause is the negative effect of smoking on mucociliary clearance reducing the ciliary mobility, increasing the upper airway blockages and allowing mucus to collect. This effect can even occur through exposure to second-hand smoke.
Nasal Obstruction - a normal breathe through the nose while sleeping will not cause snoring. When a nasal obstruction appears that we must breathe through the mouth, increasing the risk of snoring. Opening the airway passages through the upper respiratory tract is one solution to snoring.
Depending on your snoring pattern, Salin air salinizer could be a real help to prevent and reduce snoring. The fact that the inhaled saline has bactericide, mucokinetic, hydrophilic and anti inflammatory properties leads to reducing inflammation in the mucosa lining the airway passages, opening and widening the airway. Will restore the normal transport of mucus and unclog the blockages absorbing the edema of the nasal mucosa and the oropharynx and the soft palate, causing nasal obstruction and snoring. Widening the airway passage in the nose and the tubes of the sinuses will also improve the sinuses drainage and will reduce snoring.
However, if a person seems to gasp for breath during sleep, the snoring may be caused by obstructive sleep apnea and this is a serious medical condition and he/she should see a doctor.
Thinking now about pets, they are part of our life, day and night, including their problems. A dog snoring pattern is very much the same as ours and looking for a snoring help, a snoring device or a home remedy for snoring dog is not a problem anymore. As your pet could have also asthma or snoring the salinized air will work great also for him.
For more information, kindly refer to the website.
NB: The author grants reprint permission to opt-in publications and websites so long as the copyright and by-line are included intact and the article is not used in spam.
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The concern about safe sex has resulted in a revival of monogamy. But there is no turning back the clock. Sex is out of the closet since the free love days of the sixties. The problem with monogamy has always been boredom. The initial passion drops off pretty rapidly in a typical relationship, but not the lust of sexual desire. Eventually, the right (or wrong) set of circumstances come together and you have infidelity. It’s not that people are bad, they are just human.
To be human is to be in a body. To be in a body is to be sexual. For men being sexual means they sometimes think with what is between their legs instead of what is inside their head. But a man’s penis is single minded , ruthless and often as not, amoral. A penis knows only desire, and when the hot sexual energy is active, you might as well be dealing with an addict. At such a moment all a man can think of is how to get the next fix. At such times there are few men alive who can resist the inviting smile on a pretty woman’s face, or the parting of her legs.
Fortunately we now have Sacred Sex. Actually, Tantra has been around for thousands of years. There are those who have learned that the best sex, the kind that makes the Earth shake and the Cosmos split open, sometimes transporting the lovers right our of their bodies, is energy sex, not just friction between two people.
Tantra Sacred Sex is high energy sex. Once you have learned the practices of Sacred Sex, sex could never again become boring. This is how you keep monogamy hot. This is how you keep your lover happy at home. Sacred Sex is not your standard roll in the hay.
Sacred Sex is an art and a way of life. It involves considerable skill. Skill requires practice, and right practice leads to mastery. Mastery translates into mutual satisfaction, through and through, for both Sacred Sex partners. With Sacred Sex, every encounter is unique, new, exciting, mysterious and sometimes awesome.
With sacred high-energy sex, lovemaking can last many hours. As the hot sexual energy builds up and the lovers learn to circulate it through their bodies, they awaken their higher spiritual centers. Various degrees of satori become available. Anyone who has ever experienced even the lower states of satori will need no convincing that by comparison, ordinary happiness is, well, just ordinary.
At first the disciplined learning of the physical practices of Sacred Sex will often feel awkward, uncomfortable, and possibly scary. There almost always is a period of such frustration that the learner wants to conclude, “This doesn’t work. I can’t do it. This is too hard.” They want to quit. But with persistence and some small FAITH, they experience a breakthrough. Perhaps they suddenly “get it.” When you “get it” what seemed ridiculously complex, and impossibly difficult, becomes easy, like riding a bike. Once you can do it, you can always do it. You never forget.
The physical techniques involved include muscle contraction exercises (the cranial and sacral pumps), breathing techniques, learning to stay relaxed under the influence of intense sexual stimulation, and learning to stay fully present in the moment. You have to keep your attention in the same place for more than a few seconds. It helps if you throw in some knowledge of the man’s prostate gland, a bit of acupressure to help move blocked energy, and emotional release techniques to unlock feelings. If you also add in a healthy dose of respect, lots of playfulness, a bit of surrender and letting go, your life will never be the same. Men won’t need Viagra any time soon - guaranteed.
