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If you need to spice things up in the bedroom, it’s always a good idea to throw in some toys for you and your partner to have fun with. Here are some simple sex toys for those who are new to the experience:
1. A vibrator – It’s best to start with a simple vibrator, and if you’re a lucky man, your partner may already have one. You can easily stimulate her clitoris using this device, especially if she’s having a hard time to climax. Vibrators are quite handy for guys too – she can use this to tease your prostate to give you a more powerful orgasm.
2. Handcuffs or scarves – These are great for simple role-playing (cops and robbers bedroom style). You can cuff yourselves to each other, or one of you can be cuffed to a bedpost. By limiting your movement this way, you can find more creative positions to give each other pleasure. If you’re using scarves instead of cuffs, you can use them as a blindfold too. After all, increasing the element of surprise can do wonders for your libido.
3. Boardgames – Don’t break out Monopoly out of the box just yet, an game like “Twister” can be more interesting if you play it while you’re naked. There are also several sex-oriented board games on the market, like Sex Questions and Pervarsity, and you might want to look into those.
4. Edible body paint – If you and your partner have artistic inclinations, using edible body paint is a good way to express yourself when you’re inspired. Sexually, that is. You can paint on each other and lick it all off after. Some paints are chocolate flavored, and we all know that most women can’t resist chocolate!
5. Penis rings – They come in all shapes and sizes, and they’re good for both you and your partner. They can make your erections more intense, as well as stimulate her vagina in ways that a naked penis won’t. This is a good toy for those who want to put a little variety when it comes to penetration.
Once you feel as if you and your partner are past the "beginner's" stage of sex toy usage, go ahead and experiment! There's a whole treasure trove of sex toys available for the advanced user.
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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say.
It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened.
“Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!”
Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet.
“Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.”
My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me.
“Don’t think so.”
I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible.
“Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.”
I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level.
“Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.”
“You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.”
It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick.
“Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.”
My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged.
“Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled.
I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on.
“Parker? Are you talking to me?”
“Well I’m not talking to myself.”
I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned.
“This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.”
“Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …”
“You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously.
“Should you want I bow wow?”
“Holy cow! Parker you are talking.”
“Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …”
“I can’t believe this.”
“Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.”
I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued.
“I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“Afraid not.”
Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own.
“Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?”
“Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.”
“You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?”
“Four hundred.”
“Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.”
“Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?”
“Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.”
“That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?”
“Yeah.”
“She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.”
“You are kidding me?”
“She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.”
“Why?”
“Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.”
“You know this from the smell of possum poop?”
“Excrement.”
“Whatever.”
“Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?”
“Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …”
“Penis?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Jealous are we?”
“Well, it’s just that …”
“It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.”
“No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.”
“No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.”
“You done? Can I get to my concern?”
“Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.”
“How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?”
“You mean global warming?”
“It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.”
“Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.”
“We don’t know dramatic.”
“Well give me examples of what you mean.”
“First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.”
“I don’t smell a thing.”
“Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.”
“Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?”
“We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.”
“ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?”
“Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.”
“Oh yeah, like what else?”
“Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.”
“What?”
“You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized.
An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.”
“Can you give me a for instance?”
“God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“Well, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.”
“This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.”
“In a nut shell, yeah.”
It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping.
“That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.”
“What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically.
“You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.”
“Then what, already?” I asked impatiently.
“You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.”
“Ummm … yeah I guess.”
“Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!”
“All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.”
“I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”
“So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.”
“It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking.
“Parker?”
Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket.
“Parker … are you done? Is that it?”
He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep.
“Parker … just like that?”
He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined.
“Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.”
I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days.
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Alright guys, I decided to let you in on a little preview of what Penis enlargement ( PE ) is all about. I'm going to give you the basic routine that most people do in their first month of PE. I'm pretty sure that you'll be positively surprised at the results and will want to continue or get into the more advanced routines.
Alright well first off, the most important thing to remember is that consistency is key. It's THE MOST important thing to successful PE. You have to be dedicated to the task at hand ( no pun intended ). I've done it both ways, being constant & NOT being constant. Let me tell you, I tell everyone now how much of a difference it makes. Truthfully, when I wasn't consistant, I was more prone to injury, & I lacked gains. But since I've restarted, I haven't missed a day of my preset "pe" days, and it shows.
Most people preach the 3 on 1 off 2 on 1 off. Wich means, you do PE for 3 days then take a day off, then you do 2 days on and another day off. But personally, I went with another type of routine. My routine is more like this: Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday are my "on" days. Wednesday, and the weekend I don't do anything. It's been working great for me. You shouldn't workout everyday, since your penis needs to rebuild itself to get bigger. Not giving it enough time to rebuild itself is just like taking a step forward and two steps back. It'll hurt your results. So even though your in a hurry to make those gains, stick to the days your put as your "on" days and ONLY those days.
Alright, now for the first technique. It's called the PC flex. It's probably one of the more helpfull exercises in PE since it's the exercise that gives you those rock-hard erections. These exercises train, well, your PC muscle. What muscle is that? Well have you ever stopped been peeing and stopped so you could hear what your drunk friend was saying outside the door, or just stopped peing in the middle of the act? Well the PC was responsible for that. So do what you did to stop your flow, come on, do it now...You should feel a squeeze from under your package and in front of your anus. That's where the PC is, and you just basically did a PC flex! Now how easy was that?! So now, since your just starting, your PC needs to become stronger, and we do that one step at a time.
Alright, here's what you do: Do these flexes for 5 min during your first week. You can do them whenever, wherever you like. I do them sitting at work in front of my computer. You don't need to have a hard-on to do these. After that first week, raise it to 10min; 3rd week, 20 min & 4th week, 30 min. From now on you don't need to add any more minutes. Always do 30min from now on. I used to do them for an hour, but I developped back pains, but now, no pain, all gain. Only do PC flexes on your on days, it also needs rest to become stronger. In no time, you'll have hard as hell erections, and you could learn to control your ejaculations. Wich is something for another article all-together. Doing ONLY this exercise could give you gains in your girth from the increased bloodflow. Not alot tough, since you need to do other exercises to stretch to allow more blood in and create more places for blood to go in.
The second exercise is the basis of all the lenght exercises, the Long Schlong. This is pretty easy to do. Just grab your penis under the head with an ok grip. An ok grip is just making an "O" with your thumb and index finger. So do that and stretch in front of you and hold it there for 15 secs. After that massage. Now repeat this for every direction: Up,Down,Left,Right,Straight out. Make sure you massage in between every rep. Do 4 sets in all directions. Don't pull too hard until you feel pain though, you should only pull until you feel a good stretch. We don't want you to go injuring your favorite member now do we? Oh and if your having a hard time getting a good grip on your soldier, I use toilet paper. If you can find something softer wich still gives you a good grip, then go for it. I've even heard of people using boxers. Even though I can't see how well that can work... You may start to get an erection since it's your first time. It can be annoying, but don't sweat it, it's happenned to EVERYONE. Just give it time and that'll go away.
Next up, the basis of all PE, the Jelq. This is mainly go girth, you'll be using this pretty much throughout your PE journey.
For this exercise you should use lubrication. Preferably water based. Baby oil is a popular choice. I myself use Stives moisturizer but might switch to baby oil after my supply runs out. You'll be using lubrication for most of your girth work, so you should get some before you start. And Baby oil doesn't look as bad as buying Vaseline wich is part of alot of jokes. You should always do your girth exercises after your stretching exercises for this reason, since you'll probably have a hard time grabbing your head and getting a good grip if it's lubricated. Now, for the exercise, first off, get yourself an 80% erection. I usually know I'm at around 80% when I'm hard but I can still bend it pretty easily. Once you've got that taken care of, make an ok grip at the base and slide it up towards the head. This should take about 2-3 secs. Make sure your pushing the blood and not just the skin. Now when your up at the head, switch hands and start again. Do 25 of these in your first week. Then, each week, add another set of 25. Continue like this until you reach 200 jelqs, wich should be around the end of your second month. Remember to always massage after each set. This'll help prevent injury.
The last important thing to talk about is the Warm up and Warm down. For the warm up, before you start the Long Schlong, take a hot towel and wrap it on your penis for about 3 mins. It's that simple. For the warm down, you can either do the warm towel again, or you can do what I do and take a bath or a shower. They all work. Some have developped fancier ways to warm up. But I'm a fan of the KISS way of fàdoing things: Keep It Simple Stupid.
And there you go! Those are the basic exercises that most people do in their first month of Penis enlargement. Now go start so you can marvel at the effects of these techniques.
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For almost all applications in which art or beauty is given primacy, the use of a color scanner is imperative. Digitalizing of portraits, indigenous textile designs, and large paintings call for the use of large format color scanners. The particular application in question may be best suited by color scanners of either flatbed-type or drum-type scanners. The choice of imaging technology between the traditional scanner using charge-coupled device (CCD) and the less expensive alternative using contact image sensors (CIS) should also be made judiciously.
When dealing with paintings and works of art, a CCD scanner is preferred so as to obtain best image quality, uniform color, and wide dynamic range. It is also ideal for scanning whole open books to obtain an image with little or no distortion. The geometric accuracy of this method is, however, inferior to that of CIS, and hence the latter are more suitable for scanning maps, engineering drawings, etc. The CIS scanner also has better resolving power since the scanned image is of the same size as the original. The resolution of the scanner is specified in dots per linear inch (dpi). The higher the resolution in dpi, the sharper is the scanned image. However, more resolution normally results in a larger image, requiring more memory for storage. The trade-off between the two depends on the use of the scanner. For example, official maps have to be scanned with much better resolution than the embroidery on a shawl. Large Format Scanners commonly available in the market have an optical resolution in the range of 150dpi to 800dpi, which would be sufficient for most general applications. The larger the scanned image, lesser is the enlargement involved, and lower is the resolution required. Highest resolution is desirable for scanning films.
Speed is another important criterion that influences our choice; speed is usually expressed in inches per second (ips) at a particular dpi. At a higher dpi, the speed will be less. For comparison, the speeds of all scanners are usually evaluated at 200dpi optical resolution, or at half the best optical resolution it provides. Most of the commonly available color scanners have speeds less than 300ips. Thickness of the media to be scanned is yet another factor to be considered when selecting the scanner type.
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Countless studies carried out over the world have found that for most men, they are dissatisfied with their penis size. Smaller sizes make us feel incompetent in the bedroom and our self esteem goes down hill. Thoughts of rejection in bed because we’re too small are also a common problem. So what most men end up asking themselves at some point is, is there a way to make myself any bigger?
Well the purpose of this article is to separate the myths from the facts. Enlarging your penis can be a dangerous process, so it’s important that before you start to go down that road, you must understand the risks associated with it. For example, if you go in for surgery, and it goes wrong, you could end up a "woman" for the rest of your life, so it’s important to separate the myths from facts.
First of all, I would like to start off by warning all readers that medical pills do not work. If you see a site popping up on your screen with a special herbal pill claiming to increase your penis size, it will not work. In the same way that drinking protein shake alone will not turn you into a bodybuilder, popping pill cannot make you penis significantly longer. Now let's go on to the more creditable (although still questionable) forms.
The first type of enlargement process I’ll talk about is surgery. Like I said before, surgery is a risky business. There have been large amounts of complaints after the procedures, many resulting in disfigured penises. At least one person to date has died from bleeding after surgery.
The two types of surgery available are lengthening and girth procedures. In both cases, the penis is cut open. For the lengthening, the suspensory ligament is cut, and plastic surgery is used to lengthen the penis. Yet in case’s involving this, men have complained that after surgery they see an increase in the flaccid length, but the overall erect length is still about the same, and that instead of pointing upwards, the penis drops to the floor. Why does this happen? Mainly because the suspensory ligament is the reason your penis points upwards, and cutting it will remove this function.
The most common surgery to increase girth is to either have liposuction fat injected into your penis, or to have grafts of skin and fat from the buttock area placed within the penile shaft. While no long term results have been clarified from the second option, injecting fat into your penis has proved disappointing to most patients. This is because your body reabsorbs the fat over a period of time, resulting in the loss of your very expensive surgery.
There are other consequences to take into account before penis surgery is considered, such as scrotalisation, where the penis appears to be attached to the scrotum instead of the abdominal wall.
Another form of penis enlargement is the traction device. The very basic concept of this is that it slowly stretches your penis out over time. With the added pressure on your penis, cells are caused to divide and multiply to fill the gaps. Well quite a few experts have some concerns about the device. While it does increase length, there are risks associated with it that can be quite substantial. Putting pressure on your penis could cause something to break, like a blood vessel. Other concerns are that if it’s put on too tight, you’ll literally strangle the life out of it, restricting the blood flow, and ultimately causing damage. However these same experts admit that when used as directed, just like with anything, true results may be possible- but not without a strong commitment.
Another way to enlarge your penis is through exercises. Of course criticisms have been made about these as its split pretty much 50/50 in the medical world as to whether these work. Some claim that there are no muscles in the penis to stretch, while others say that they work more like the traction device, but slower and with fewer risks. There are a wide variety of sites out there that offer penis enlargement skills, although some require you to pay them money. The only real risk with this form is whether it's effective. Will you be wasting your time for the next couple of months only to find nothings happened?
As you can see, while penis enlargement is definitely on the wish list for most men, caution must be exercised to avoid unnecessary risk. And while there's no guarantee, countless antedotal evidence suggests that it is, in fact, possible.
